Challenge #03987-J335: Give the Kid the Toy!

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The human is only 4 years old. They tried to scare the child of the ship's human by taking away their stuffie. They learned why ships with human children aboard are almost more dangerous than ships with only the adults. There was a lot of time needed in the ICU. This was like human Pib all over again! -- Anon Guest

Some warnings are universal, or quickly become so. Never try to eat anything bigger than your own head. Never gamble against someone who smiles all the time. And never, EVER... purposefully do anything that will piss off a Human. No matter the relative size of the Human involved.

The Space Pirates of Pinzaans were just about to learn that last one, taking a virulently colourful blob with eyes off of a very small Human who would otherwise not co-operate. Their reason? "Fluffy says that's a no-no." So they took 'Fluffy', expecting instant subservience.

What they got was a pint-sized ball of screaming rage and dirty fighting. Kicking, screaming, biting, grabbing any loose object and hauling it around towards anyone in their way.

Especially anyone holding 'Fluffy' out of reach of the Human toddler.

The Space Pirates of Pinzaans had never heard of the Human game hot potato, but convergently evolved it as 'Fluffy' arced from Pirate to Pirate.

They squandered their only chance on trying to keep the raging toddler away from themselves.

Which, as it happened over the passage of a single hour, was not a chance at all.

By the time Human Xig's guardians escaped the pirate's holding cell, most were dying and a few were dead. And little Xig was sulking in a corner, all four limbs wrapped around their 'Fluffy'.

[Photo by Jan Kopřiva on Unsplash]

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