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In this post though, the focus will be on WHAT A MAN WANTS IN A WIFE. He has a reason he married her for sure. What are they? Let's go! ......
Of all the persons in the world, none are more important than the crowd we call wives. "Behind every successful man is a great woman" is a famous and truthful statement. I heard someone else put it this way: "Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg may depend on the chick he married." Interesting right? Now for the million-dollar question: What does a man really want in a woman?
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According to Noam Shpancer Ph.D.; a psychologist, A man wants someone who can fulfill his biological needs. So he seeks a sexual partner. Every healthy husband needs a concubine, not in the usual immoral sense of sexual mate outside of marriage or in addition to a legal wife. The truth is every wife should provide her husband with the sexual pleasures solicited from a concubine. "My wife is my one and only concubine," one satisfied man said to me recently.
We must never forget that God is responsible for this thing called sex. God designed and created male and female. "And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was good" (Genesis 1:31). Commenting on this verse, Dr. Charlie W. Shedd, who was a Presbitarian minister, added,
And among the best of Gods good things is sex at its best.
Many counselors agree that sex is a primary cause of problems in marriage. The challenge to wives is simply to become successful playmates with their husbands.
Deep though the biological needs may be, man's social needs are even deeper. He needs one person to whom he can truly open up his heart, his hurt, his hopes. Man wants in a woman someone who can listen to him as he thinks his way through his dreams, and aches his way through his problems.
Marriage, with a commitment to confidential continuity, provides man with a mate to whom he can totally expose himself, body and soul. If he feels assured that this wife is his and his alone for life, then he can trust her with his private, intimate feelings. You don't totally trust a person with whom the relationship has a strong possibility of impermanence.
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What does a man want in a woman? He wants a warm friend, an understanding companion.
Proof; A study was once made by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D; a psychologist and writer, on companionship in marriages and the result was that the Number 1 complaint of men about wives was that they talk too much and don't listen enough.
This is the pattern in most adulterous triangles. A wandering husband said this in his defence:
"I first became attracted to the other woman because she was so understanding. It wasn't a physical, sexual thing. It was simply that she wanted to listen to me and it seemed my wife never really wanted to listen. It started out as a warm companionship, that's all. Somewhere it got out of hand."
Here is a simple suggestion made by Virginia Graham on how to stay happily married:
Try to look ahead to a day in the distant future when someone will ask you how you've managed to stay happily married for so long. I hope you'll be able to answer the way I do. 'It's easy,' I say. 'I married my best friend.' "
Fact is, Love is the combination of sex and deep friendship. The trouble with a lot of love is that it's mostly sex and very little friendship.
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Most men might not admit it, but they do expect women to be the conscience of their lives and their communities. But being the conscience doesn't mean that a wife is to change her husband. Just like my cousins wife once said to me: "A wife's job is to love her husband, not convert him." But retain the spirit that can advise or gently correct. When the wife ceases to be the symbol of the Ideal, all of society will begin to deteriorate. So be a kind conscience.
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What a man wants in a wife is someone who can set the mental climate-control to positive thinking. A man needs a possibility-thinking woman. For this reason, the most important quality of a successful wife is possibility-thinking. If a man is dreaming, only to have his wife squelch his dreams and throw cold water on his exciting plans, the marriage is headed for the rocks. No man will ever leave, or stop loving a positive-thinking wife/woman who feeds his enthusiasm and self-confidence.
- You create a positive mental climate by being a cheerful, happy woman. Pity the man who, tired from a day's work, has to come home to a depressed, fatigued, self-pitying woman. Be proud of your role as a wife and homemaker. What could be more important?
- You create a positive mental climate by being patient. Practice the act of tactfulness. Above all, cultivate the habit of acceptance.
- Now generate a positive mental climate by encouraging your husband to succeed. Know your husband, support your husband. Be his biggest booster. Be proud of him and let that pride show. Be a possibility-thinker. Be careful in your response to his positive ideas.
Don't say:
It can't be done
We can't afford it
I'm too tired
But the children
We don't have time
It's impossible
Do say:
Sounds great
Let's see how we can possibly do it
Let's find a way to do it
Let's think of a solution.
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