Every day we go out, carry on with our daily activities/ routines, miss a few schedules or turn up late at work because we were pissed at someone and didn't remember to check what the time was.
All these and more happen to everyone at a point in time, most people would get frustrated about how their life is going, others would enjoy the ride with zero regrets. The difference between this two categories of people is that the earlier get sucked up with so much to do and no joy in achievements, now this doesn't mean they aren't rich or earning 7 figures, it just means they are not satisfied by the achievement, meanwhile the latter category is fulfilled even with his 4 figure salary or that small business that keeps thriving even at the edge of bankruptcy.
Real-world example: Daniel is the CMO (Chief marketing manager) for his organization, this positing gives him access to the company Rolls Royce, a standard and well-furnished home, with a 7 figure salary. But each time Daniel breaks a new sales record or signs s new deal, he's still not happy or probably just happy for that moment and then he's back to Mr. Moody again.
He studied Mass communication so he's working in the same line of study, every other day he just wants to tell stories on reality tv shows, so his Marketing Job is more like a limitation to what he actually wants, he doesn't know this so he keeps fighting for the next huge achievement to find a little happiness to last a day or two.
Rachael, on the other hand, is a fashion designer, she used to work in a bank but quit when she saw that's not what she really wanted, she preferred making dresses for people to look good than sitting at a desk all day and helping people keep or spend their money.
What happened?
Rachael discovered ohhh I'm not really up for this sitting at a desk, it can only make me happy temporarily.
Daniel discovered ohhh I can keep up with the 7 figures, and keep breaking records, and one day I'll find happiness.
Rachael gets to live fulfilled and happy, she'll look healthy naturally because she doesn't have to deal with any emotional stress regarding feeling unfulfilled. Daniel will look 10 years older than his age in no time.
How do you know what you want?
There's what I call the Recon rule, Recon rule is a way of judging what you want by your behavior towards people and things, what you'll do when free, what you talk about with friends, what you wanted as a teenager and what you've done in the last 10 years of your life.
It's very easy to use, after answering a few questions, those things that appear more than two times as answers are definitely a huge part of who you are and what you might become.
But before answering these questions, I want you to understand it's just the beginning phase of self-discovery.
Question 1: Remember growing up as a child, how was it?
The answer to this question is not "Ohh it was fun" no, pick a pen and a jotter, write the question down then begin to think about answers like this;
- Good or bad at sports
- Friends
- Family
- Holidays
That's a few things you might want to consider adding to the answers, for example growing up as a kid for me was a bit boring, I only had my siblings as friends, no outings since my parents were always at work, most of the day was on video games and during holidays we had only two choices, my grandpa's or sit home and have a coach bore you for four hours every day.
This automatically tells you I'm more of a stay home person, I barely go out.
Once you've written to your satisfaction, move on to the next question.
Question 2: What were your future ambitions as a teenager?
Ohhh I wanted to be an aeronautic engineer, then I later settled for a programmer, didn't seem like much but I prefer it somehow.
Did you want to build a million-dollar perfume industry? Or the biggest snack producer in the world?
Write all that down here.
Question 3: What have you done in the last 10 years?
I got my first degree, went for national service for a year, had five girlfriends, got myself a phone and a PC, started a new job e.t.c
Make your answers as detailed as possible, remember it is all aimed at getting to know who you are and what you want from life.
Take your time, think about the last 10 years of your life,
- have you volunteered for some community service?
- Did you get an abortion?
- Did you get into rehab for fighting at school?
- Did you lose a loved one?
There's a lot that happens in a year, so the answer to this question should probably be the longest except you choose not to be honest with yourself.
Question 4: What do people say about you?
Now a lot of you would want to use what your loved ones say but no that is wrong, the thing is our loved ones have a way of possibly lying to us just to make us feel good, feel accepted and loved.
The answer to this question would be, every stranger you've had to communicate with either on the street, on a bus, at school or at the office, what impression did you leave them with?
Did the customer come back to say "Hey thanks for the other day"?
Did your coursemates say "Ohh He has to be the worst human alive after Hitler"?
We may think the opinion of the general public doesn't really matter in defining who we are, but it does play a huge role in telling us about our behavior.
This brings us to the last question in Recon rule;
Question 5: What do you enjoy doing at leisure
During weekends when you have free time, what do you do?
Do you hang out with friends, or you sit at home like me and play video games?
- While hanging out with friends, do you go clubbing, talk about life and a few other things, or head to the beach for some beach time?
- What do you enjoy talking about?
- What do you enjoy doing whenever you are free?
The answer to this question should be very detailed as it will play a huge role in telling us what you enjoy the most.
Now bring all those answers together and let us do a simple arrangement. Write the answers that appeared more than once on one side and those that appeared only once on the other side.
Those answers that appeared more than once are the perfect picture of your life, that is what you enjoy and that is what makes you happy. If you find yourself struggling to do something else in reality then you are on your way to unnecessary emotional and psychological stress.
You can decide to find your way back, I will explain how to do this in the next part. For now, take time to go over the answers again and try to point out where you started to drift away from these things you loved.
Thanks a lot for taking time out to read, do upvote, comment your views, and share.
