Recently I've been chilling around, not doing much work. I came to the decision to give myself some self-time. Its been almost one month now and I'm doing some small amounts of work to get by.
I'm a bit stuck on something, so if I can have your feedback at the end of this Article it would mean a lot to me <3
I did this in order to align myself towards something I really want to do in life. Of course, that something is related towards income, not that I want it to be, rather it is necessary. Heck if I could go to Tibet and be a monk I'd do that but I don't envision that as a life goal.
The thing is that I'm looking for a job opportunity if it can even be named as such.
And these are my two options at the moment being.
Option 1 [The "Normal" path/way]
Currently, I have the option to move out of my city and find a half decent job that pays good enough to support my life. Although, the thing is that I've done that a lot of times and working on a job with a repetitive work cycle block a lot of mental functions. For example, my last long-term job was in a Call Center, back then I used to talk to more than 50 people per day, doing the same stuff, telling people the same things, over and over again.
At one point I started to realize that the junk I was telling people had started predominating my mental space.
Therefore, the off days were days for me where I used to rejuvenate and ground my ambitions back into place. Only to have them wiped out for the next week.
Also, my employers wanted me to obviously lie to the majority of people in order to not lose clients and income. That went against my morals so I ended up quitting in the end. Just because I didn't feel good knowing that I lie to people.
This would be the main reason I dodge most job offers, I hate it when I have to be dishonest from the name of someone else. And in the end, get treated like a sack of potatoes.
I'm just stating this as an option, although my aim is more at Option 2.
Option Two [The "Not-Normal" path/way]
For the past two years, I've spent almost every day of my life studying philosophy, psychology, hermetic alchemy, inner engineering, shamanism, Buddhism, Mysticism, Empiric Philosophy spiritual traditions and more, whilst going through a right of Awakening [Shaktipat/Kundalini]. I've learned so much about the world through different eyes that at points everything started to lose sense.
I've had many opportunities to help people, although I never set that as a main agenda/goal, even though I knew I could do good for others.
Mainly because I didn't feel ready to do that.
Even my writings on steemit aren't orientated towards that, most of them are just scribbles to keep some consistency that takes me no more than 20/30 minutes to write nowadays.
The thing is that I love helping people in my own special way, I know I can do that because I've done it many times. And there is nothing more priceless than seeing how someone turns blissful, just because they found a way to go beyond a block in their life. The feeling you get in return goes beyond gratitude.
But never have I ever asked for money, Most of the times I've never even told people that I'm helping them. I just say things that fit the issue and let them connect the puzzle by themselves, afterward watching from afar like a ghost. And I have my reasons for doing that.
The thing is that Its hard for me to tell people "I want to help you", "pay me". Directly or indirectly. That shifts the WHOLE thing, it shifts the perception within people and is almost impossible to do your job properly, just because money starts to be criteria and the focus of people gravitates around/towards it, rather than looking at salvation.
I wanted to be a psychologist, yet I don't have the permit for that. The only thing I have is a history of suffering that is backing me with experience that goes beyond learning things through summarizing blocks of text.
A friend of mine went to a psychologist several weeks ago and shared with me that the guy told him to buy a Car in order to boost his Ego. Also giving him some pills.
I'm sorry, but I can't accept that as proper advice.
I also can't tell people I'm a Shaman or a Guru or whatever, just because I know that I am only human like everyone else. The prefix itself is only used to align people towards seeing a person in a specific light, therefore eliminating a lot of back though.
So My Question to you lovely people is
I know that Option Two is my calling, but my calling goes against social regulations and it goes against money.
I'd love to work with people and help them find themselves but I cant live without money, even If I wanted to.
So, my question is, given the aforementioned, how can I make option two work out for me ? I've been thinking about this for quite the time now and can't seem to find any descent approach.
I'd really appreciate any feedback <3
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