Desolation Waltz


Portrait of the Ah-tiste as a Grumpy Old Fart... This is a song I wrote over 30 years ago, but this instrumental recording is about 10 or 12 years old in David Hildreth's studio (facebook.com/David-Hildreth-Music-108700065845932/?ref=profile_intro_card). It appeared in my mind nearly full-blown (structurally, anyway) as a result of simply experimenting with unfamiliar MIDI gear in Premarnava prabhu's studio in Bahulavana (winter, 1986, I think). This Sunday is his memorial service, and I owe him so much of a debt I can now not even begin to repay. I can only offer my undying love for his inspiration, both for his musical grace and influence, and far more for spiritual inspiration, as much him as any of the more advanced devotees of Lord KRSNA whose association I have had the unmerited privilege to experience in this life.

Here are the lyrics, the sanskrit verse is from Sri Krsna Caitanya's siksastaka:

Desolation Waltz

Oh, my love, I have fallen
Into a web of my own making
Surely, now, I will soon perish
Should you fail to rescue me

There I stood, full of strength and confidence
Fame and fortune at my beck and call
Out of kindness now, you have taken all away
Left me naught, save this desolation waltz

Oh my love, I have fallen
Into an ocean of desperate fear
Tears keep falling from my eyes like rain
And I am left alone, calling out your name
While I dance the desolation waltz

yugaiyitam nimisena caksusa pravisaiyitam
sunyaiyitam jagat sarvam Govinda (x3) virahena me

I know nothing, save you are my only love
Whether your treat me well or ill
You can do anything you like with me
I can only stand with folded hands
And do the desolation waltz



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