Ever wonder why the person who mistreated you seemed to pursue you relentlessly after the relationship was over? Why your emotionally unavailable ex-partners seemed to be the most “available” after you left them?
Although people stay friends with their exes for a variety of reasons, when a toxic ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend reaches out, there’s usually something deeper going on than just “missing” you. One of the biggest misconceptions people have is that if their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend reached out, it must be because they truly love and miss them. They hope that this second chance provides a pathway for their ex to finally morph into the ideal partner.
Reality check: Toxic ex-partners may not miss you, but they sure do miss what you provided for them. Narcissists hate to fail or lose, so they will do what they can to maintain some connection if they didn’t make the choice to end it…They experience narcissistic injury when rejected by a partner and have difficulties letting it go or healing from it, they want to stay connected to exes in order to have access to valuable resources. They also have inside information about their exes’ vulnerabilities and weaknesses that they can exploit and manipulate which gives them a sense of power and control.