Chapter 31: The Staff
The next morning, Pardi was in his office, checking his calendar for the next few days. Pardi’s secretary came in. He was dressed as a female. Pardi was inspired by his daughters, who had dressed up the pizza delivery guy as a fairy. He decided that half his staff would now identify as female. This was to improve the company’s diversity score and to get more tokens for research purposes.
‘Three employees returning from Adoy are here to see you, sir,’ said the secretary in a badly impersonated female voice.
‘Great, let them in,’ replied Pardi.
The three walked in. ‘Did you do everything I told you?’ asked Pardi.
‘Yeah, no problem. It was easy,’ said Joselin.
‘What about you?’ he said, looking straight at Jarlint.
‘Yeah, it’s done,’ he responded.
‘It amazes me the things Sapiens do simply because someone else told them to do it,’ said Pardi.
‘I believe in discipline and obedience, sir,’ replied Jarlint in a serious tone.
‘These are great ethics for an employee,’ said Pardi.
‘Thank you. I pride myself on my ethics,’ said Jarlint in a more upbeat tone.
‘Is there a point where you draw the line?’ asked Pardi.
‘I’m not sure what you mean,’ replied Jarlint.
Pardi sighed. ‘You’re a bitch, and your only aspiration is to be a bigger bitch,’ said Pardi in a slightly raised voice.
‘I don’t understand. I did everything you asked me to do,’ said Jarlint in a frightened voice.
Pardi turned to Jimmoy. ‘Do you understand what I’m talking about,’ he asked.
‘Yes, sir. We’re so sorry about the twins,’ he said in a nervous voice.
Pardi put his hands over his face, shook his head, and then looked at Jimmoy. ‘You stink of fear. You just say anything that you think I want to hear,’ said Pardi in a slightly strained voice.
He turned to Joselin. ‘What do you think?’ Pardi asked her.
‘I just want to get paid,’ she replied.
‘Yes, I owe you holiday tokens,’ said Pardi. He rubbed his chin. He looked up at Joselin. ‘Would you like the tokens I offered you as well as the tokens I offered them?’ he asked her.
‘Yeah, of course I would. Sounds awesome,’ replied Joselin.
‘What about us?’ asked Jarlint.
‘You get nothing. She takes the lot. Her decision, you just heard her,’ replied Pardi.
Jarlint glared at Joselin with intense anger in his eyes. This did not go unnoticed by Pardi.
‘Could the three of you make your way to the waiting room at the end of the corridor?’ asked Pardi. ‘Just a bit of paperwork I need to sort out.’
Pardi winked at Joselin as the secretary escorted the three of them to the waiting room.
Pardi switched his monitors to the cameras in the waiting room. He eagerly waited for a bit of entertainment.
After they entered the waiting room, Jarlint turned to Joselin. ‘You need to tell him you changed your mind,’ he demanded.
‘No chance, asshole. You blew it,’ she said in a cocky tone.
‘You really don’t wanna piss me off,’ said Jarlint as his face turned red.
‘Calm down, dude. Just admit she won big this time,’ Jimmoy said to Jarlint. ‘Well done, babe,’ said Jimmoy as he turned to Joselin.
‘I’m not your fucking babe,’ said Joselin in disgust.
‘What about the train? We had a thing,’ said Jimmoy.
‘It’s called being bored,’ said Joselin as she rolled her eyes.
‘You’re such a bitch,’ said Jimmoy back to her.
‘Nah, he’s the real bitch,’ said Joselin, turning to Jarlint.
‘You have no idea what I could fucking do to you,’ said Jarlint as rage continued to build in his face.
Joselin slapped Jarlint hard around the face. ‘I think nothing, bitch,’ said Joselin as she swaggered a bit.
‘You better back off a bit. I think he’s going to lose it,’ said Jimmoy.
‘You don’t tell me what to do,’ said Joselin as she looked at Jimmoy in disgust.
‘Okay,’ replied Jimmoy.
‘You are such a wimp,’ said Jarlint as he looked down his nose at Jimmoy.
‘I was not the one who just got slapped, bitch,’ replied Jimmoy.
Jarlint punched Jimmoy in the mouth. He fell to the ground. He continued hitting him while he was on the ground. Joselin stood back and rolled her eyes again.
Security staff entered the room. They grabbed Jarlint. Pardi came in after them. ‘Take him to the enforcers. He’s in desperate need of rehabilitation,’ said Pardi, pointing to Jarlint.
‘What about him?’ Pardi asked Joselin as he pointed to Jimmoy, who was still lying on the floor.
‘How about the garbage chute?’ replied Joselin as she chuckled.
‘Sounds about right,’ responded Pardi. ‘Unfortunately, I’m forced to play nice. Workplace and health safety regulations.’ Joselin shrugged her shoulders. ‘How about you come over to my place tonight?’ suggested Pardi with a smile.
‘Yeah, you bet,’ she replied.
‘This is going to be wild,’ said Pardi.
‘I wouldn’t want it any other way,’ replied Joselin as she winked at Pardi.
Pardi returned to his office. A newsflash appeared on his screen. The Head Enforcer had announced he was about to make a full statement to the media. Pardi rubbed his hands in excitement.
After the statement, Pardi sat back in his chair. He felt it could not have gone much better. His phone rang. It was Collingswaggle.
‘It is time to strike,’ said Collingswaggle.
‘Yes indeed. Yes indeed,’ replied Pardi.
‘We have a great chance of filling the nine governor positions we need for the Business Sector,’ said Collingswaggle with confidence.
‘You are making me a believer,’ replied Pardi.
‘We can have the debate as soon as two days from now,’ said Collingswaggle.
‘Spectacular, come over tonight. I have something special planned to celebrate this moment,’ said Pardi in glee.
‘Look forward to it,’ replied Collingswaggle.
Pardi arrived home early. He wanted to prepare for the evening he had planned. Joselin arrived about an hour later.
‘Come on in, come on in,’ said Pardi with delight.
Joselin walked in. She looked around in amazement. ‘This apartment is huge and beautiful. I didn’t know such places existed,’ she said as her eyes panned the entrance hall.
‘Only in the Capital Region and for those who reach the top of the business ladder,’ said Pardi.
‘You mean there is no other way,’ said Joselin with a seductive grin on her face.
‘Winning the heart of someone who has reached the top of the business ladder is also a possibility,’ said Pardi while caressing her cheek.
‘What other luxuries are the rest of us missing out on?’ Joselin said as she walked further into his apartment.
‘I want to open up a whole new world for you,’ said Pardi as he ushered her into the kitchen dining room. ‘How would you like to visit a fantasy world where anything is possible?’ said Pardi as he picked up a small bottle of liquid.
‘Is this like magic or something?’ asked Joselin.
‘Just science. Only those who have achieved great success in life could ever obtain such a privilege,’ said Pardi as he popped the lid off. He handed her the bottle.
She took a sip. ‘Arrghh, this is strong stuff,’ she said, slightly gagging.
Pardi laughed. ‘You went in a little hard for a first-timer.’ Pardi put his finger over the bottle. He turned it, so a tiny bit went on his finger. He rubbed his finger gently on the tip of his tongue. ‘This is the better way of doing it,’ he said.
She looked back at him, slightly blurry-eyed. ‘This place is amazing,’ she said as she rubbed her hands over the stone kitchen counter tops.
‘Let me put on some music. This will amplify the experience,’ said Pardi. She began dancing around the kitchen area.
‘I’ll be back in a moment. I have another guest,’ said Pardi.
Collingswaggle had arrived.
‘Come on in. The games have just begun,’ said Pardi as he opened the door. Pardi led Collingswaggle to the kitchen. Joselin was in the lounge area, trying to sing along with the song that was playing.
‘I must admit this is different,’ said Collingswaggle as he raised one eyebrow.
‘I am a popstar goddess,’ Joselin cried out.
‘Yes, you are, and so much more,’ said Pardi.
She looked at Collingswaggle then back to Pardi. ‘Your girls were right. You are a sausage man,’ she laughed.
Pardi grimaced for a second. ‘No, no, I’m a god, and you’re my goddess,’ he replied.
‘Can we expect lots of little baby gods,’ said Collingswaggle with a chuckle.
‘Put a bun in my oven. I’m turning up the temperature,’ said Joselin as she caressed her body.
Pardi began to smile and then laugh. Joselin began laughing as well.
‘Rule number one,’ said Pardi. ‘Before we can do any baking, we need a clean oven.’
‘Make me sparkling clean,’ said Joselin as she began pulling her clothes off.
‘Of course,’ replied Pardi as he pulled out a bottle of oven cleaner from his cupboard.
Joselin was now completely naked. He handed her the oven cleaner. She began pouring it over herself. ‘I’m cleaning my oven for you,’ she sang.
Her skin was showing signs of damage from the highly alkaline oven cleaner. She seemed oblivious to the pain. Pardi could not stop laughing.
‘Time to clean the inside,’ she said as she was about to drink the oven cleaner.
Collingswaggle pulled the bottle from her. ‘I think that’s enough for the cleaning,’ he said.
‘You are jealous. He doesn’t want sausage any more,’ said Joselin in a very slurred voice.
‘No sausage, just buns. Big buns,’ Pardi laughed.
‘Big buns need big doors,’ she shouted as she started rummaging through kitchen drawers.
Collingswaggle poured Pardi a glass of water. ‘I don’t drink water. I only have the finest juice,’ Pardi said as he declined the drink with his hand. ‘You need to get with the party,’ he said as he showed Collingswaggle the liquid.
‘I thought as much,’ said Collingswaggle.
‘It’s just a bit of fun,’ said Pardi. ‘What’s life without pleasure?’
Joselin staggered over to them, holding a large, sharp knife. ‘My oven door is in the wrong place,’ she said in a slurred, almost incomprehensible voice. Her skin was beginning to peel off in places, revealing part of her flesh.
Collingswaggle pulled out his phone to call the Carvaress medical staff.
Joselin stabbed herself in the stomach. She attempted to stab herself a second time but fell to the ground. She incoherently mumbled some words, and then she passed out.
Collingswaggle checked her pulse. ‘Okay, she is still with us for now, but it’s not looking good.’ ‘Your medical staff is on the way,’ he added.
Pardi looked down at her. ‘I didn’t realise she was so ugly. No wonder she’s suicidal,’ he chuckled.
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