Some of you might remember the announcement of me writing a book a few months ago. Well, I had some difficulties in continuing the work but I’m finally back on track. I want to share some of the insights I gained during these months in form of an excerpt of said book.
It took me almost half a year to begin this chapter. Not because the content was so difficult to understand or would have burdened me emotionally - I simply lost my motivation.
After my initial euphoria ("Yeah! I'm writing a book about an exciting topic and it's going to be great!") and the first 25,000 words of raw text, my enthusiasm suddenly disappeared. Somehow the second part of the book didn't work out as I had imagined. With all its strength it tried to escape my mental grasp and finally I doubted whether it should be continued in this way at all or whether it should perhaps be completely rewritten. For months I simply couldn't get this question out of my head and this prevented me from completing this project. My own questions and doubts were insurmountably in my way.
Something like that is normal. That can happen to anyone. Even an author who writes a book about how to remove such mental obstacles. I am well aware of the irony. It is impossible to say exactly how often thoughts à la "Damn, especially YOU of all people should know how to motivate yourself again" went through my head.
Believe me, I have not only once felt very guilty about not being able to fight against my motivational low.
Another problem for me was that it was by no means an all-encompassing low. During this time I also wrote very regularly (and a lot) for my blog and was not weary of spending many hours of my free time every week.
Now one could of course justifiably object that this would be a good sign and that only one project was affected by my lethargy. If only it were that simple.
Because only this one project suffered so much from it, I felt even more guilty in the end, as I obviously couldn't direct the same energy that I put into other things to the most important project to date. Hrmpf.
That was very frustrating and it would take many months before a solution was finally revealed to me. Or no, better, until I searched for a solution - and found it.
Now as you have the pleasure to read these lines, I obviously managed to finish this book despite all the adverse circumstances. All it took was a new perspective.
The story that goes with it is certainly not one that can be easily transferred to other life situations, but the fundamental idea behind it is even better.
A few days before I took new courage and began to write again, I accepted an invitation for a meeting of the "Salonkolumnisten" - a very cosmopolitan association of journalists, authors, bloggers; in short, publicists of all kinds. In the run-up to this meeting I had some thoughts about my own work, especially of course concerning this book. For me it was clear:
If anyone could help me overcome this mental block, it was people who wrote books themselves.
Of course this was not a groundbreaking new insight, but it was important because it encouraged me in my decision to seek a conversation with Gideon Böss, one of the authors present.
At this point I would like to express my sincerest thanks to him once again, because his ideas actually enabled me to complete this book in the end.
The central statement he was making to me, was that it's completely normal if you don't get anywhere. Occasionally an idea doesn't work immediately and it takes a little time to come to terms with it again.
Then I began to examine the connection between myself and my ideas more closely.
A good idea is like a relationship. You can draw new strength, energy or hope from it and sometimes it feels as if you are floating through life on a wave of pure euphoria.
But woe betide those who cling too much to this idea and fail to give it air to breathe. Just like relationships, ideas have to develop over time, adapt to changing conditions and explore new paths. This often requires some distance. Granting an idea this distance does not mean that one no longer has faith in it, on the contrary - one recognizes its potential and gives it the necessary space to evolve fully.
Sometimes you have to take a step back to see the whole picture.
After talking to Gideon, I was able to take just that step. I still don't know with complete certainty how I'm going to design the second part of the book at the end, but that's completely okay. I don't need to know yet.
Instead of continuing to be blocked by it, I can now go one step further and complete the framework narrative of the book before devoting myself to such in-depth questions.
So what is the lesson from this personal anecdote?
First of all, it is important to realize that motivational lows (even those that last long) or mental blockages are not shameful. Anyone can be affected - even the people who should know better.
Do not hesitate to seek help. This is a piece of advice that can be applied to almost any situation in life, but especially here. Think about who in your environment has faced a similar challenge before and ask how they have overcome it. Even if you do not receive any earth-shattering new information in the process, the conversation alone can provide a great deal of clarity.
Don't work your way through almost unsolvable problems in your mind. Allow yourself distance. What you cannot currently accomplish may look quite different in a few days or weeks (sometimes only months, if it is not time-critical). Allow yourself a mental break and focus on the tasks you can complete for the time being.
"Just" do it.
That is, how could it be otherwise, often much easier said than done. Heavens, it took me almost half a year to get to that point. Fortunately, there are a few good ideas from scientific research that can be used for this as well. Self-motivation, structuring work processes, time management, stress management, etc. are not blind spots on the map of psychological research. This is a good thing for all of us!
In the following chapters I will introduce you to some of the most promising approaches when it comes to overcoming everyday challenges. I would like to provide you with a so-called "toolkit", which expands the spectrum of your available options in every situation.
We don't always have the opportunity to talk to another person (partner, friend, doctor) about the things that concern us internally - this can lead to stress and unpleasant feelings. I am going to show you scientifically substantiated ways to deal better with such feelings.