I often wonder about this question cos its something that ive been trying to do too and that is "change". I believe its a question almost everyone has asked at some point, can people really change? Or can I change? We ask it after being hurt or disappointed. Some people believe that once a person shows you who they are, that’s it, no second chances, no real transformation , it is even enshrined in the popular adage "A leopard can’t change its spots. Others believe that change is part of being human and it is constant. The truth i believe actually sits somewhere in the middle.
The reality is that people can change, but not in the way movies or motivational quotes or all these motivational or inspirational YouTube videos often suggest. Change isn’t sudden or easy. It doesn’t happen because someone promises it will. Real change usually takes time, and serious serious effort, and a moment of honesty & reflection with oneself. Most people don’t wake up one day completely different, they grow into change slowly, often after facing consequences or deep personal reflection.
One important thing to understand is that change can’t be forced. You can want someone to be better, you can encourage them, even try to pressure them but unless they want to change, nothing really sticks. A person might act differently for a while , but that kind of change rarely lasts. Real change happens when someone looks at their life and decides, on their own that something has to be different. Experience also plays a big role. People often change after something shakes them, losing a relationship, failing at something important, hitting rock bottom, or realizing they’re about to lose something valuable. Pain has a way of forcing reflection, it is a powerful teacher. When the status quo becomes more painful than the fear of the unknown
That said, it’s also true that not everyone chooses to change. Some people get comfortable in their ways, even if those ways are harmful. Change can be scary because it requires admitting faults. Someone who struggled with communication can learn to express themselves better. Progress, gradually, the cracks might still be there but as long as what you chase is not perfection but gradual progress and improvement, then that can be achieved. There is also what is called a consistency bias, cos if you really want to change you have to “lock in” and not care what other people think of you or the process because the biggest obstacle to change is that people will see you through the lens of past mistakes or how you used to be.
Its the Weight of the "Before" Most of us fear change and we make the mistake of thinking familiarity is safety. We cling to people, places, and habits and not always because they serve us, but because they are known. When the opportunity for change arrives, it often feels like a theft, but then again if nothing ever died, nothing could ever bloom. Change is the universe’s way of ensuring we don’t become stagnant pools of water.
So is change possible? Absolutely, but its usually not a complete and total change of character or personality, I believe you can only change certain specific aspects you wanna change and I dare say it is seriously challenging
