https://pixabay.com/photos/hand-texture-love-couple-romance-7566739/
What makes a relationship work isn't love.
Of course, love is very important, and fundamental. Just yesterday, I mentioned this in a comment I made on a post by heroldius.
But love isn't everything. If it were, all couples who love each other would be fine.
Falling in love can even be easy. Anyone can do it, or can do it. Although in my case, it's not quite like that... I'm at a stage in my life where it's not easy for me to throw myself into the “arms” of the unexpected... of love.
But what is the real ingredient for a lasting relationship? It's more than love. It's everything that is built together, starting from that initial point. It's commitment, honesty, trust, and dedication.
Knowing each other's limits, and even our own, and agreeing on how we are going to take care of each other and ourselves, is in fact the basis for sustaining a lasting and healthy relationship, based and cemented on trust in each other and in ourselves.
Asking the other person what they need, even before they ask us. Knowing that when something is missing, I can ask for it without being attacked for it, and without attacking the other person for the failure, is the basis of respect.
Nowadays, many relationships are tainted by a society of instant gratification. We want to have everything without giving anything in return or giving anything up. This is neither healthy nor even possible.
The courage to talk about the kind of relationship we want, even when it is uncomfortable to convey what we think, will fertilize the basis of trust. We learn that we can share our fears, our aspirations, and even our insecurities. And as in any relationship, reciprocity must always exist.
One day we are the ones caring for others, the next we may be the ones being cared for.
Knowing how to see the other person as a friend, a companion, someone with whom we are building a relationship, a presence, a feeling. Knowing how to resolve conflicts without turning the other person into an enemy.
Nowadays, we are quickly led to judge others, often not for how they acted towards us, but for how we feel when we hear what they said or did. In this case, we have to manage our emotions so that the other person is not paying for the mistakes of others and so that the outside world is not destroying what we have built together.
Love is indeed the fuel, but oxygen is needed for the flame to burn. Having good relationships is not luck, it is a choice. And it always starts with us.
Free image from Pixabay.com
Translated with DeepL.com (free version) and selected in the Advanced tools
