Being tough on ourselves is something that comes easily to us humans, it is like a second nature, when we plan something and it doesn't go the way we expected them to go, the first thing we do is, we start blaming ourselves, we sit and replay all the mistakes in our heads, then the overthinking too starts, then that feeling as if we are not doing things enough too creeps in. You see, it's actually funny how we can be really patient with other people, but not with ourselves; to ourselves, we are the strictest judge.
So this year, I already told myself that I want to be kinder to myself, and it is not because I have everything figured out or sorted out, no, but because I am seriously tired of beating myself up when things don't go as planned for me, see life is already too hard like this, now adding self-criticism on top of it , just makes everything feel more heavy.
One way i am learning to be kinder to myself is by accepting that I cannot always get everything right, nobody has a perfect life, nobody has everything planned out from start to finish, and seriously thats is FINE, Because we are all just trying to figure life out as the day goes.
Another way I can be kinder to myself is to rest without feeling guilty about it. Yes, this one might be hard because one might feel they are not doing things enough, but I tell you, sometimes all the body just wants is rest, even when your mind is saying something different. Do you know that rest is actually productive? You know you can never pour from an empty cup because it has nothing, being kinder to oneself is allowing the body and mind to breathe well.
Also the words we say to ourselves also matters alot, so we should try to watch out for that, if youncannot talk to your friend in a harsh manner , then you shouldn't talk to yourself either that way. Using the right terms and the right words is another way I can be kinder to myself.
Celebrating small wins is also another way i intend to be kinder to myself, i already have this mindset that not every achievement has to be big, you see those small small things that happens, yes they are worth celebrating. Also, I am stopping comparison. You know that social media has a way of making it look as if everyone has their life together, it's not true, my people will say "All na packaging," and this is one thing that I know within that i need to learn to stop doing, it won't help me in any way.
Forgiving myself is also another important thing for me, we all have past mistakes, and there are things that we always wish we could change now in our lives, I already know that carrying the guilt doesn't change anything for me, and then I did what I felt was best at that time. You know growth actually means knowing and doing better, which is what I am doing.
And Lastly , being kinder to oneself means giving oneself grace, some days one can be motivated, other days you might not be, all of it is just still part of being human, so this year I am seriously choosing to be softer to myself, and not because I am giving up on my dreams, but because I know that growth doesn't come through self-hate, it happens through patience, consistency, and self-love.
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