I woke up with the pleasant surprise that two people had watched a youtube short and decided to watch a few more videos and then subscribe. It hits a lot deeper when someone watches and shows real interest whether through their behavior or heartfely comments.
It’s hard not to wonder where I’d be if I had gotten my shit together earlier. I spent so much tome complaining, so much time killing time, waiting for the stars to align, not realizing that I was already on the path.
And so I got impatient and got lost in the woods. Once. Twice. Countless times. I got distracted by fears.
I wanted to save up enough money to feel a little more secure before I started doing the things I loved, but now I know there was no reason to prioritize one or the other. Music was always there, and I took it for granted.
The clear head didn’t come from security. It cane from clear intention.
Recently I’ve been improving all my weak points, fascinated by how easy everything is. I mean it’s not EASY stuff but when you are in the right mindset, things just flow better.
Each improvement compounds and compounds and so the progress of a month feels like it should take a year.
I wake up and feel curious about how to get better tone and so before work I watch a few videos about how to get better tone. Then after a few hours of work I want nothing more than to test out what I’ve learned so during a two hour gap in my work schedule I’m on the guitar figuring it out.
Back in the day I thought I needed a full free day to be able to explore such things. I thought I needed to read up on things or to ask someone but what I really needed was to mess around, to fuck around and find out (lol compeltely different nuance to this expression).
I’m surprised at how easily I stand out in the music scene with my attitude too. Musicians I admired from afar are starting to show interest in me. They remember my name and make a point to say hello at events.
There’s a simple reason for this and it’s not that I am the best at what I do and it’s not that I an particulary cool. It’s that I put heart into everything I do now.
My intentions are pure. I want to make things I love and then experiment with ways that might make it possible for others to understand.
I carefully craft the show to have no filler, every single song, every interlude, every pause, it all has an intention and I do my best to make it known. I want every moment to serve one of three functions, to move people, to be interesting, or to challenge myself. It can serve one of those or all of them but if none of the boxes check, it gets cut.
Many bands or singers have great songs. But very few can keep people’s interest for an entire set, even a 25 minute set. I’m not sure I am there yet, but I know I’m close.
Another thing I do is adapt to each environment and situation. Most artists prepare only what they plan on sharing right now. I prepare two different setlits and mix and match which parts of each I think fit the atmosphere. You can’t predict if it’ll be a slow quiet night or an energetic one so I try to be ready for both.
Just by doing that,in the two short months I’ve been on the radar of a few more people in the larger Tokyo scene and have felt much more appreciated. More people have been checking out my recordings and videos and telling me how they like this or that.
I do not think that I ever want to play in front of a massive audience or be known everywhere I go. But if I can fill up a room with 40-50 people twice a month and create friendships and collaborate with people who inspire me, I’ve totally made it.
I can feel that I am on the fast track. I only wish I had realize how painless it could have been if I had a little more faith in myself and cared a little bit less about impressing people and more about infusing everything with meaning.
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“To Know Where” by I+Everything MV (live at Mogu Mogu in Tokyo)
