While I was in school some years back, there was this group project that we did. When we made the presentation, the lecturer said that it lacked depth. Some of the team members felt attacked and emotional about the statement, but the rest of us made our enquiries; asked what we did not do right, and ways to improve. We also did more research about it and improved our knowledge. In the next presentation, it was on individual basis. We that took the feedback constructively did well in it. The criticism actually helped us to become better, and that was because we welcomed it with an open mind and we handled it constructively.
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Just to let you know, criticism is something that you should expect in life. It can be at school, in your place of work, your neighbourhood, and even at home, people will always have their own opinion about what you do and even how you do what you do. What makes the difference between those who grow and the others is in the way they handle the criticism. If you handle it well, it can become a very powerful tool that can bring about growth. But if not handled well, it can be a weapon of discouragement. So you see, it is not the words themselves that really make the difference, but how you have interpreted them, and how you have welcomed them.
In order to handle criticism, there are things you need to observe and do. Firstly, you need to control your emotions. As a human, your natural response to criticism might be on the defensive. You might even feel attacked or unappreciated. But what you need to understand is that reacting out of emotions can make the matter complicated and worse. To control your emotions, do not react immediately, learn to take a pause and then have a second thought about what was said. It is emotional maturity that helps you to separate your feelings from feedback. You cannot attach feelings and emotions to feedback and hope to make the most out of it.
Secondly, in addition to separating your emotions from criticism, you need to learn to listen carefully and critically. There are times that people may genuinely want to help you to grow, but the tone which they said it might be harsh. But you can still pick up valuable lessons from the message if you listen carefully. Always ask yourself if there is a valuable truth in what the person said. If there is, then nothing stops you from accepting it. Growth begins when you are honest with yourself. It takes self-honesty and a level of strength to acknowledge that there are areas where you need to improve on.
Another very important thing to also know, is that you should be able to distinguish between constructive criticism and destructive criticism. The former will focus on behaviour, and then try to offer suggestions that can help you improve. While the latter directly or indirectly attacks your personality, yet will not proffer any solution. When criticisms are constructive, then you should welcome them, but be careful to know the difference. Try to sieve out the destructive ones, and keep the ones that will help you to grow. You may not be able to control what others say, but you have the ability to control what you allow inside your mind.
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You should also try not to take criticism personally, so that it will not weaken you. For example, that someone criticises your work, does not mean that they have criticised your personality or your worth. Your value as an individual is not defined or determined by your mistakes and errors. When you separate your personality from your performance, then it will be easy to welcome and accept criticisms. It will also be easy to maintain your confidence, while striving to become better.
Finally, learn to see criticism as a tool of improvement. Reflect on it, and make adjustments when necessary. By this, you are turning negative moments into stepping-stones for excellence. Do not see criticism as an attack on your person, rather see it as an instrument that will enable you to become a better person.
Thanks for reading
