Today was a hard day. You know I talk a lot about depression but its not my damage. Im a spaz. Totally over thinker. I get anxious. You couldnt tell it if you saw me but it feels like doom. The fact that tomorrow I have an appointment makes me want to vomit but thats why I love you guys. You see earlier on one of my post 
So thank you all of you who really try to just cheer me up. You've seen what I've been though and well you were right
Sometimes its the small things, or the dumb things that spark great ideas so when he said this, knowing Nevada was going to be cool, I thought a hug from Sand Stone is one of the best hugs ever. So I pushed beyond and enjoyed a little nature. The truth is it was the silly comment that helped push an idea and get me out
After being in a box. Told theres nothing wrong for a year, you feel crazy, sometimes trapped by your conditioning. How you let the pain consume you. Fast? Slow? I would have been in a dark room crying and instead because I couldn't have a tangible hug, I found one in natures vibrations.
Life finds a way. Its through struggles that we build the steps that will get you the success you dream of one day, the life you deserve, one day....and God knows; I've been patient. No matter how many smiles know I've been tremblingin pain, fear. People deal with it differently
The days get few and few but I get home, put ice, heat and smoke some cannabis. Then do it all over. Because there's no other choice.
