This is a powerful quote, I don't know who the author is but it's worth sharing it.
Lately I've been noticing who does all the talking in meetings. Not really what they're saying, but more who keeps talking when everyone else has their phones out. That happened to a guy I work with the last week friday when he talked about three different ways to explain something.
My grandma used to do that with my uncle's theories all the time. In her defense the man is a full blown woke believer. She would just smile, never got in an argument with him, and he would just keep going around in circles about something. She would always be washing dishes or folding something. I thought she just wanted to be polite to him, but I don't think that's what it was at all.
What I struggle with is not saying anything, but the feeling I get when I see that I can choose to do it, even though I've already prepared my response in my mind. I mean I can feel it physically, it's even as if I could reach out and grab it.
I used to think silence was passive, that you didn't really care enough to participate, or that you were being cowardly. There is something about this type of silence that is very different from that. It's as if you know that that person is not really going to hear what you have to say. Not because they're stupid or mean, but just because the words won't reach them because of where they're at.
I still mess this up sometimes and jump in anyway and then I'm watching the other person not listening, and I feel like, I knew you weren't going to listen. We already know and are constantly taught that we need to learn how to talk but it's equally important to learn how not to.