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I was thirteen when I first wished to club like I had seen most of my aunties and uncles do.
It sounded crazy to my parents when I voiced it out one time to them.
“Not school or church. It is clubbing.” Mama had yelled.
But I was not listening to them. My mind was made up. I wished it up on the star every night, how I want to visit that place that only opens at night. That place adults disappeared into and came back different. I believed it was where real life happened. I was also curious about what happened there.
Somewhere between SS2 and SS3, I thought it would happen, but it did not. I have heard how it was strictly 18+.
I kept holding on to that wish. Fantasizing now about it after I had seen pictures and videos of it on TV. The idea slowly formed in my mind. I heard older boys talk about it like it was heaven. Lights everywhere. Music that makes your body move without asking. Laughing like nothing else in the world matters.
So when the exams in my first year in university ended. My friends and I decided to go. To me, it felt like destiny.
“Make we go club tonight,” *(Lets club)* Uche said, beaming with smiles. “We have tried this semester.”
We all looked at each other. Our room smelled of men and sweat.
“I’m in,” I jumped out of bed quickly. My hands raised in the air as I had never done in class to answer a question.
Emeka looked at me. “You sure?”
“Abeg,” *(Please)* I said. “I am very sure.”
The five of us were full of confidence. Priding as we earned it. We changed, after arguments about what to wear, smeared our best perfume, then we stepped out into the night.
The air was warm. Aba was alive. Something in the air felt like it was welcoming me to real life.
Like I was finally joining something very big.
The club was easy to find. Shiny lights on the signboard. No music, but the ground itself was shaking. Like Bigfoot was stomping inside.
People were outside, dressed like they belonged somewhere important. I tried to stand like them.
Then the bouncer spoke.
“Ten thousand.”
Silence.
“Ten thousand?” Uche screamed. “I thought the club was free; you only get to buy drinks.”
I saw doubt flash across our faces, but nobody wanted to look weak. Uche leaned toward me.
“E normal?,” *(Is it right?*) he asked.
“Yes, it's free only for the ladies,” I replied. I had studied everything about clubbing.
I didn’t think too long. I pulled out my phone and made a quick transfer to an account given to me. paid. I felt like someone chasing a big lifelong dream.
The bouncer pushed the door open for me. Then I stepped into the darkness. Not the soft kind broken too fast by flashing lights. Different colors. My eyes hurt.
I was still getting a good grasp of that when another hit me. From the smell to the sweat mixed with perfume. Then came that strong stench of alcohol. It was bad. Very bad for me. Not like I do not take alcohol, but there was something else about it I couldn’t explain. It wrapped around me fast and tight.
Then the music. It was too loud, like a force hitting my chest. It felt like my body was dancing from the inside.
“E dey sweet!” Uche shouted, already dancing.
“Yes!” I shouted back, turning to see him behind me. I knew I lied.
Within seconds, my friends disappeared into the crowd.
I was left standing there trying to understand the environment. Looking around.
That was when I saw the dancing. At first, that was what I imagined, but it was more adult-rated than that. Things that will be rated PG if I were still thirteen. I had only noticed that act when the lights flashed.
At that point, my brain had already decided.
I didn’t wait to call any of my friends. I didn’t say goodbye. I just turned and walked out. Calm. Quiet. Like I forgot something important outside.
Fresh air.
Silence.
Peace.
Moonlight.
I took a deep breath. Made a sign of the cross. I checked my time.
One hour.
That was all I lasted.
Ten thousand naira bought me one hour of something I did not like.
I was sure my friends wouldn't even notice I was gone.
I didn’t care as long as I felt better.
I had spent years wishing for that night. Imagining it. Then the wish came true.
I paid money to enter and spent the whole time trying to leave.
It just wasn’t what I thought.
Maybe I'll wish for a quieter one later, but at that point, I needed to get home.
