I used to think I was a pretty sharp parent. I mean I made it through college I can set up a WiFi router and I know how to parallel park. Surely I could stay one step ahead of my own children. But then my teenagers proved otherwise.
It all started with curfew. I had a strict no exceptions be-home-on-time policy. I thought I was clever when I told them I had a tracking app on my phone and could see their every move. That worked for a while until one night my son came home exactly on time looking suspiciously out of breath. Turns out he had left his phone at a friend’s house so the app showed him in a perfectly acceptable location while he was out stretching the boundaries of my rules. Genius. Infuriating but genius.
Then there was the time I tried to enforce screen time limits. I set up parental controls feeling victorious as I explained that their devices would automatically lock at 10 PM. My daughter nodded sweetly said she understood and then a week later I walked in at midnight to find her happily scrolling on her laptop. Turns out she had simply changed the time zone on her device so it never reached the dreaded shutdown hour. I did not know whether to be mad or impressed.
The ultimate moment came when I told them they had to do chores before going out with friends. Without hesitation they asked if they could vacuum. I was thrilled. They each took turns vacuuming every room with great enthusiasm. It was only later that I discovered they had used the vacuum as an elaborate distraction while they avoided doing the dishes and taking out the trash.
At this point I have accepted my fate. My kids are smarter than me. I just hope they use their powers for good.
