Never have I ever thought of myself as someone who will be running away from people. Friends, family, colleagues, and all. It's not like I cheated on someone or stole anything; it's like I couldn't keep a few promises, which is kinda harmless at some point, or maybe caused some issues, perhaps as well. To be honest, I am running away myself too, kinda fucked up with my own activities that are making me struggle, and I'm afraid to face those facts as well.
There was a time when I wouldn't let go of anyone, not even a tiny, unpleasant word towards me or someone close to me. I would have faced anyone for the people close to me or for me. There were many occasions where I was in trouble due to my close people; they were in some unpleasant situation, and so I had to get in, and I kinda faced those backslashes as well. Was that the type of people, now I'm afraid to face myself. That's how life goes on, right?
Also, I'm losing my value and importance in the other people's lives. People aren't caring like before, aren't prioritizing me like they used to do in the past. This is what makes me sad oftentimes, the feeling of being left out, feeling the ignorance. I can sense that pretty well, can see the differences, still, a few are showing the bare minimum out of respect, and I do acknowledge that. To be very honest with you, these perspectives of people towards me are changing, the good image is kinda being faded away, they started to feel irritated with me, ignoring my paths. Come on, I can sense that, that's pretty bad.
Even today, the closet guys, here in Dhaka, I felt like they wanted to avoid me, but somehow I came across them. Out of the leftover respect, they couldn't do that and somehow got mixed up with me. As I said, people do have some respect left for me; they are the ones with that. Many might have emptied their quota for me, not to say something in the front, but I'm damn sure they are pissed off at me as well. Even my family members are frustrated, I can sense that. On top of that, I know how my closest people are towards me as well. I know these kinda ignorants, and loneliness leads towards the darkness, I don't wanna go there, and that's the reason I'm not facing myself and just running straight without looking at these unpleasant stuff.
Life has been too good to realize the odds that may come as well. That lack of experience now turned out to be true and teaching me the real life lessons in the hard way. I just pray and hope that I will stop running away, stop, and turn back to the face the people with honour and dignity.
