It has been a little over a year since a group of people took over this planet. The settlers have continued their terraforming efforts, transforming Earth-like soil into life-supporting soil. The colony has grown substantially and many of its residents are lauded for their dedication and vision. Others, like me, are considered outsiders.
My name is Noelle Laurent and I am a native of the planet known as New Gaia.
I stand outside a building near the hangar where the first settlers established their colony and shake my head. Everything about this place seems so far away, as if I am in a dream. I have been inside this building only once before, when a group of politicians from the capital of the colony and some scientists visited New Gaia.
I feel even more distant from the group of people behind the building, like I have no knowledge of the beginnings of this new world. I look down at the ground in front of me and curse under my breath because I have to walk a short distance to reach the hangar.
My last pregnancy was when I was younger, and I am glad this pregnancy is far enough along that I do not have to walk. I look over my shoulder at the distant building and shake my head. I do not understand these people and what they did to me. I only hope they live up to their promises, promises they made when they first came here.
I take a deep breath and resolve to forget about them. I look one last time at the distant Earth-like building and head towards the hangar.
When I enter, I am greeted by several members of the colony's security team, including the leaders of the unit. Once upon a time, I was head of security for the colony, but now I am new again. Those in security have been especially tolerant with my pregnancy, but I have been long enough outside the settlement to have only recently rejoined them.
"Welcome back, Mr. Laurent, says a security officer.
My name is Laurent. I am Mr. Laurent. It is odd to hear them call me otherwise. I am now assigned as a junior communication specialist, a creative title for someone with limited knowledge of the colony. I should not be here, I think as I look at my fellow security agents. I am now isolated from the colony. It will be easier for them to forget me.
"Thank you, I say.
No one else says anything to me and most look away. I am supposed to be the man of the community, their leader and someone they can trust.
What a joke.
I look around at the sterile hangar. I am told that the colony is larger than a planet. How is it possible? I ask myself. It looks like this to the naked eye. A group of scientists and officials walk towards me. They do not look happy, and when I look at them, all I can see are complicated smiles on their face. They are not telling me anything. I can see on their faces that they do not trust me or understand what has happened to them since coming to New Gaia.
I say nothing to my fellow security agents. They have never looked at me with the eyes that the politicians or the scientists have.
The leaders of the colony approach me and greet me with a handshake and a quick, dry smile. How can they smile at me so unhappily? I do not know because I do not know if I am on their level. These leaders and scientists belong to the colony's educated class. They do not want to deal with me. I am seen as a native savage.
"Hello, Noelle, says Silas Kendra, head of the Science and Communications Department. His words are the standard greeting of someone in charge. When people say it, I realize that ''hello, Noelle' is a greeting of little substance. The words seem more like a command than a greeting.
I do not know what to say to Silas. Should I say hello? I am not sure.
Silas reaches for my typewriter and picks it up, as if inspecting its condition.
"This is a nice typewriter, he says. "What kind of warhead is this? One of the heavy-duty ones?
He is asking about the model and making small talk. What is this man talking about? I will be the first to admit I do not understand modern technology. He is asking about the warhead, a personal scale model from the last war, and then boasting about his newest model when most sane people would have destroyed the things after the last war.
I do not respond.
Silas grins.
"Your son has been cooped up for you for almost a month, he says.
I hear his words and hear how he is thanking me for being patient with him. Who is this man talking about? My son. My son? I do not know what to say or do. I cannot tell if he is rattling off a prepared speech or if he is asking me of his actual condition.
"I want you to know that Rhodes is doing well, Silas says. He was a bit mischievous but all the children are courteous and respectful. This is a sign of a good liberal education.
I know this speech is a prepared one. I do not want to talk to this man any longer. Why is he reminding me of my son? What is it he is doing? Why has he come to Seabrook?
I do not understand it.
Oh, that is right. I forgot. He is here to put me on display. He is here to show me off. I am now a native savage. I am to be put on display for legitimacy. Why is he acting like we are family now?
"Thank you, I say.
My words are barely an acknowledgement. He is talking as if he is not thanking me but thanking the colony.
Silas takes a step forward.
"Are you sure you don't want to speak with us?" he says. "We would love to take you on a tour. We can introduce you to our city. We can show you around.
He has only just introduced the colony's visitors. He is giving them the opportunity to talk to me and have things seem more normal. I do not want to meet the visitors. I do not care who they are and I do not want to speak with them. I am trying to escape, but he is here. He keeps speaking. I do not answer him.
Silas looks at me again, as though he realizes that I am ignoring him.
He rubs his chin.
"We can still offer you a position in the colony's government."
I do not want to work. I do not want to go somewhere I do not want to go. My excuses are done. I no longer want to get out of here or leave without my child. I am trying to be silent. Silas is waiting, but I do not respond. What is he acting like he is doing, waiting for me to turn down his job offer?
"I will be at the Science and Communications Department for the next several hours," he says.
This is all planned. I am sure of it now. How did they know I would be in Security? Why do they want me and what do they want from me?
If you want to talk, then come by, Silas says. We can talk in your capacity as chief security.
I do not want to talk. I do not want him and his entire department anywhere near me. He is a professor. He is a professor who wants to remind me of my son. Can he be that paranoid?
"Why are you being so paranoid? I think. I am security.
Silas glances at me from the corner of his eye. No.He is not looking at me. He is looking at the security agents, my fellow soldiers. He is not looking at me. He is trying to make us comfortable, but all of our eyes are on him.
He turns away from me. He walks towards the other people. He is officially gone now.
I look at my men and say, Thank you.
They do not say anything to me. I can feel their hatred from the way they stare. They have no respect for me. I am the chief security officer. I have to keep their dissent in check. I know their hatred is directed at the scientists and the leaders of the colony, but I am the leader of their security.
