I have stopped falling for the temptation of being emotional with a lady. This is because I have tried it with my mum and was utterly disappointed, I tried it with my sister and found that she couldn’t handle it, and with my ex which was even worse. Now I have learned to only communicate as much as I feel they can understand because if I fall for the trap of “say your mind” or “you can tell me anything”. I will only have myself to blame. This is not because I look less at women, but because I understand the weight of being a man to a very large extent and would not want to put that weight on any lady, especially not those very close to me. The truth is this, they can’t bear the burden the way a man does it. This is why even though a particular parent can raise a child on their own, they can not raise the child the way the other one would do it.
What I am saying in essence is this. Women are naturally emotional beings, although there are a few who have learned how to live with men and help them with their burdens, not all can handle it. A lot of the time, if a man becomes vulnerable, even if the lady looks like she got him covered, it’s only a matter of time before her emotions begin to flare up and she acts in accordance with the pressure. And being a man, one of the ways to take a low blow, is to be reminded of the time you were down. I always say with every thing that women go through, the fact that men have to deal with them is something they can never understand, so being vulnerable with the person you are supposed to protect can have a way of hitting you in the guts if you are not careful about it.
I am not saying men should not be vulnerable, I am saying it is best to understand the depth of your partner and know just how much to give out. If you give more than what is meant, you will only have yourself to blame. In as much as I hate to admit, but a lot of ladies can not take the shit they dish out. They want a man that cares for their needs, but do not know how to handle his emotional side. But the few who know how to handle a man when he is down, have a man that they have locked in for life because he knows where to find peace in a troubled time. Then another thing is that no matter how much a man cries out, he would always be reminded that he is not a woman and thus should not act like one. You hear them say “Be a man”. And no man wants to hear that when he is down, so what can we do, it’s hard to find a safe space, it’s hard to find through friends, we can only cry in secret, and come smile in the open.
THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S PROMPT FOR WEEK 203 EPISODE 2
