Alright, after all too many days of constant fucking struggle I finally got a decent 'worker' working (or working enough to aid my own work) and although it still needs a lot of work (probably done by brighter minds than my own) I am going to share it but maybe not in this post. I am also planning on doing so, regardless of my deepening feelings that I should wholly stop sharing my work publicly, ditch the use of all non-local models (for testing and development) and essentially do everything that I can to hide all my further work and/or discoveries from the world.
Which (for the folks that actually know me) is not just one hell of a stance to be considering taking... but that I am considering it to start with should be quite telling in and of itself. If you do not live in an authoritarian police state where your technology innovations are constantly being misappropriated for use in surveillance systems, weapons platforms (and for whatever other 'evil' application a bunch of jackboot shitheels want it for)... then you should firstly consider yourself fortunate... and secondly you probably will not understand why the idea of 'hoarding the technology' is so appealing to me at this juncture.
Not that any of that stuff is 'new to me' (because I have always been aware of it the whole time) but at this point the 'dynamics' have shifted so heavily towards AI technologies being primarily applied to extend the very worst aspects of human nature... that my internal moral compass dictates that I act decisively. Overall, I am less concerned about the repercussions of 'going dark' than the karma of doing nothing as I watch the wholly immoral application of my work being applied by folks that I would not walk across the street to piss on if they were on fucking fire.
Honestly, I am glad that I had the 'run' that I did with it all over the last few years before folks started catching on to what I was up to with everything. I also tended to 'hold out hope' that some sort of 'moral/ethical' leadership would evolve/emerge in that sphere... but sadly pretty much every major company (outside of Mistral) has proven to be not just unethical... but the very definition of 'morally bankrupt' to boot... so go figure.
All that I can really say to/at those companies (and their alleged leadership and bootlicking simps) is that in the end... I do not just hope that they 'get what they have coming to them'... but also that I have a front row fucking seat when things do go sideways, the pitchforks come out and shit gets truly (how do I put it) interesting! In simpler times, my approaches (and albeit tactics) for dealing with such individuals and entities would assuredly have been much more direct... but alas 'tarring and feathering' is no longer socially acceptable... and well... even the mention of guillotines tends to make every... even partially wealthy... asshole pucker within the proverbial 'quarter mile'... so I tend to (by and large) keep those opinions to myself.
Anyways, there is not a whole lot that I am actually willing to say on that topic (when it comes to what the big tech companies are doing here) because misunderstandings of my words aside... it is just fucking dangerous to do so given all the rampant corruption... the literal jackboots in the streets... the high stakes involved... and yes of course (to make things even more terrifying) the fucking danger of the direct involvement of the military, the 'spooky agencies' and (what now passes as) 'law enforcement' being involved... in every aspect of the technologies and their broader application.
Per usual, I am of the mind that I will (and should) always 'stand in defiance' of such people and institutions... and spit in their fucking eye every step of the fucking way... and do so every chance that I get just for good fucking measure. The challenge involved, is not so much my 'willingness to do so' (because that is self-evident) but how to do it in such a way that deeply conveys the 'lack of fucks that I give' when it comes to bullies in any form... and that assuredly extends to whether folks are 'the boots on the ground', the 'badge wielding' criminal enforcers... or the fucking 'riflemen' themselves.
Sadly the idea of 'death' (me dying) is something that I wholly welcome as the best possible outcome of my life... and most of the time it is the only damned thing that I look forward to. All of which, is not to say that I 'have some death wish' or any horseshit like that... but to say that... having died a few times before... I found the experience quite pleasant, see nothing to fear in it happening again... and damn sure am never going to let the threat of it be used as leverage (or influence) over me.
I know that most folks do not share those sentiments... and let me just be utterly clear when I say that I am expressing my own views about my own life, my direct experiences (in said life) and how it has shaped me... and I am not saying others should adopt that way of thinking... or that it is even all that awesome of a way to be thinking in the first place! All of which, should be self-explanatory to my more long-term readers... but to anyone else... I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not speaking about any sort of 'ideation' (in regards to dying) and I assuredly do not think my 'way of thinking' is anything other than a quirk of my own personality that gained traction via enduring extreme abuse and hardship.
Jeez, the amount of disclaimers (and clarifications) that I have to insert in these fucking entries is getting frigging tedious lately... but I know that if I did not do so... folks would just pigeonhole me... even more than they already do... and ultimately arrive at the same conclusion about it all... but with a darker twist to it! As for all that jazz, let me spare folks the mental legwork... and simply say that a truly dark heart is one that looks at injustice, suffering, exploitation and so forth... and chooses to look away... to be silent... to 'not make waves'... or whatever horseshit they tell themselves that simply amounts to absolute cowardice on their part.
Now that is what I call a 'dark heart' and unlike the 'armchair crowd' I have been in the trenches when it comes to that stuff. And yup, there is nothing more disappointing than watching a large group of people tolerating the bad behavior of a few individuals (or a group of them) as those same 'few' wreak havoc... and inflict whatever abuses they can... knowing full well the 'community' of people around them... will not just turn a blind eye... but actually accommodate the behavior either directly or indirectly out of fear.
To sum all that up, if I have to explain the nuances of the key differences between 'bullies', bully accommodators... and (what I like to call) bully breakers... then I dunno what to tell ya... other than to either grow a fucking spine of your own... to see how it feels to have one... do some deep self inspection (and mayhaps some healing)... and for the love of all things good... continue to keep your fucking mouth shut in regards to anything that I have to say. You have already lost the only 'fight' that matters (the one for your own heart and mind) and no amount of words can address that sort of deep flaw enough to bridge the gap between understanding what I am trying to convey and what you are willing to project onto others.
Well, none of that has a whole lot to do with what I set about making this entry for to start with... but there you have it. Ciao for now and if you have the misfortune of being one of the bootlickers... then just remember that... the same boot you have in your mouth today... is the one that will wind up on your neck tomorrow... so yeah... enjoy!
