Growing up, it was easy for me to see the mistakes of others—why something went wrong and how someone else contributed to it. One thing I hardly ever did was take responsibility for my actions. I’ll always think to myself that I had a very good reason for what I did, and besides, I wasn’t the one who was at fault. It’s safe to say that my ways were right in my eyes. People even tried to correct me, but I just saw them as being uncomfortable about the truth. So many times, because I was right in my own eyes, I was very quick to see what others are not doing right and point it out.
As time went on, someone made me realize that I was too quick to judge. Even though I find them saying I’m quick to judge as them also being judgy, I realized that it was true. I told myself I had to change that. I’m still on the journey of being able to avoid being too judgy and pointing out something that isn’t right when necessary. But while I’m still working on that part of me, I was also able to let go of being irresponsible of my actions. These days, it is easier for me to see my actions that are not right than before. In fact, I’m always more concerned about what my actions have done than that of others. I see others’ actions, but I always remind myself that it isn’t about them but me—my actions and reactions.
Letting go of being irresponsible and learning how to be responsible for my actions hasn’t been easy. I have learned the hard way because I have lost really beautiful relationships because I failed to see my own wrongs and instead focused on the wrongs of others. But I’m happy that I’m learning how to focus more on my actions and reactions than that of others. I do believe that my actions are part of what influences the actions of others. So anytime I get a negative response from someone, I prefer to think that my actions or words trigger their response. Yes, I know sometimes people can just be people, but my actions play a major role.
It’s a new year, and right now, I don’t have any specific goal, but I’m trying my best to make this year more about me. I need a lot of improvements here and there, and I’m going to give it my best to make sure I see changes in my life while trusting God to lead me all the way. The journey is promising not to be easy though, but I’m hoping and praying that I don’t give up at any point in time.
This is my response to the realtalk prompt. Thank you for reading through. 💜
