Not long ago Galen posted this weekend's topics. The good thing about this challenge is that there are a few topics each time, so you can be certain there's one you like. This time I decided to go with the following:
Share your thoughts on loss: The loss of physical or mental ability, of freedom, people in your life or of opportunity or possessions. How has the loss affected you and what have you personally done to mitigate the effects and move forward? source
Losing someone or something is never easy, unless it is a problem you lose or a debt. I'm not going to write about the people I've lost, I don't feel like writing about that and besides, I think each of us has to find our own way out of grief, you can't apply what others have done as it may not work for you. What I'm going to write about today is impermanent loss that made me realize what I have, what I can lose and how I should value what those things.
As you know, loss can be permanent and/or impermanent. Today I'm going to talk about the impermanent loss I have experienced a few times in life and how it has changed me.
The first one was quite funny and not as shocking as the other ones. I started early, at 16, while in high school, when I had cast on my right hand due to tendinitis. I could not write at school, could not dress myself up and pretty much needed help with everything during my daily activity. It was easy back then as had no obligations, just go to school, study and that was all. Not being able to take notes at school was kind of cool those days, many envied me for that. Tests were out of the question too, but I needed to take those later anyway, so it was just a delay.
The second time I had a problem with my right hand was a bit later, I was in my early twenties and had a cast again, for the same reason. That was brutal as could not work, but still had to go to work. Dressing myself up was a nightmare, so were the rest of the things a person does daily. I remember I had to eat with my left hand, while I'm right handed. That was when I made a promise to myself, that I will learn to eat with both hands and will use both my hands equally, to avoid acting like a crippled when something happens to me. I did that till one point, then I forgot about it.
Then I had some serious problems with my lower back and could not walk get up for two days and could not walk for a week. The doctor gave me a diagnosis that wasn't as bad as she thought when I walked in the consulting room, but she told me this is something I need to live with for the rest of my life and it depends on me how I handle it. Got some instructions and I'm doing what the doctor told me, but sometimes I get in trouble anyway. You know, one wrong move and you're done.
The last one was a couple of years ago I think, when I could only move around the house with a walking stick, but even so, with grate difficulty and pain. Imagine not being able to walk freely and getting to the bathroom, even with a walking stick feels like running a marathon or climbing the Everest. I was sitting (or trying to sit) on my bed and was thinking what life would be for me like, if I would not be able to walk. What would I do all day? How would I go out as there's no elevator where I live now and things like that.
Then not long ago, at the end of last month the electricity company decided to play pranks on me and for a minute or two I though I went blind. That was maybe the biggest scare of my life. For a minute or two, till I realized I'm not blind, all kinds of thoughts ran through my head, like what the hell happened, or how will I be able to live without seeing? But the realization of what I could have lost came only after, when I was able to calm down and think clearly. I mean obviously we know if we lose our eye site we have to live blind, but have you ever tried to imagine what life would be like for you? Have you? I had to.
The thing is, we tend to forget these unfortunate events and go back to taking everything for granted, as before. It's easy to forget and think you have everything and you will have everything for the rest of your life. But is that the case? I don't think so.
I try not to forget to appreciate what I have and I'm also grateful for what I have. You see so many ungrateful people, complaining about small things, constantly. Nothing is ever good enough for them and nothing is ever enough for them.
So which category are you part of? Can you appreciate what you have or you need a reminder that you can lose it, in order to be able to appreciate it?
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