I've been doing a lot of reading about the effects of human touch and connection and why we need it, even if we feel we don't really want it. It's hardwired into our lives from birth. Horrific studies done on babies many years ago found that babies who were put in solitary confinement, never held or spoken to but were adequately housed and fed - died. They were missing an integral link in their development. Connection.
Even at birth, the human body acts as a receptor to electrical impulses, energies and can perceive emotions. We are essentially transmitters too. Soft touch releases feel good hormones which help to regulate our bodies and minds and that's probably why social isolation and solitary confinement are considered the worst form of punishment in prisons.
I met with a girlfriend of mine last week who has been helping me through some stuff that has been very difficult to navigate. She's not a super close friend but she has been an amazing pillar of strength and inner power while dealing with some tedious issues and I have enjoyed her company and admired her courage. When I saw her, I was so unbelievably tense and rattled after driving in heavy traffic. She hugged me with a big, happy grin on her face and that hug felt real and powerful and I felt a massive sense of relief afterwards. I had bought us both REALLY DELICIOUS coffee at the local coffee barista (you can see them above) and the excitement that showed on her face when I handed it to her was priceless. A hug, an exchange of gratitude, a gift of care. It's these little things that make the connection even better, but genuine appreciation for a person as they are, I think that's what counts the most.
This past weekend I socialised a lot with many different people that I don't know particularly well, but are nice people to spend some time with. The conversations were long and subjects varied, but after a few days of continuous banter over food and drinks, I felt my batteries starting to drain.
It is a weird balance that I have to strike. I can spend weeks on my own with little to no interaction other than the odd comment at the petrol station or grocery store and there are other times when the isolation seems to settle on me and I feel void, as if I'm not really contributing to anything larger than myself, I am just me, on my path exploring life and everything that weaves it's way into that; including patches where connection is minimal and sometimes the opposite as well.
After having a lot of isolation and a lot of socialisation, I would still take a one on one conversation over good coffee over a group of 8 at a dinner table any day. I guess that's part of self improvement - finding out what works best for us and sometimes pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones, but returning to a happy medium again when we can.
What about you? Do you like big parties of people in loud environments or do you prefer quiet, intimate moments?
