As I get older, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my past. I think of things I should have done differently and those things I wouldn't change. I often tease that now that I am retired I should get a fulltime job so that I could have more time for myself. Sometimes, I feel that I have lost a certain part of me that was fun and then I go do something that reminds me that the kid is still in there!
While I have held down those jobs that, like most other people, I hated, I also was lucky enough to work at places that I loved. Although many times, I wished the money was better! In addition, I have done things that a lot of people can't say they did, but maybe wouldn't have wanted to. I have managed bands and have gained many great experiences doing so. I also had the opportunity to act on stage and in independent films. I also published my own local entertainment publication. Yet, somehow I don't feel like I have achieved the level that I feel that I could have. Maybe, I am not done yet!
I don't know why seeing many people around my age die bothers me because I have experienced this even when I was younger. I do get caught up in things like bills and health issues but maybe I should concentrate on living my life. My significant other is always reminding me of this in one way or another. I can honestly say that meeting her was my greatest achievement. Sometimes, I have to ask myself why did she choose to stay with me? It's not that I have done anything against the relationship. I just wonder if I deserve her. I guess she sees that magic in me that sometimes even I can't see.
