Life has a funny way of changing you, it might not happen in a dramatic way, sometimes it is the things that you do every day that changes you, these are things that you do not even notice at first, but when I think about the things that I did and how they changed me I see that most of them were things that I decided to do quietly, as in a small shift in how I choose to move.
One of the biggest changes I had, for me it was learning to respond instead of to react, tgere was a time, that i would take things like really personally, or feel the need to immediately defend myself on something , but then over time, i realized not everything deserves my energy , sometimes i know that silence is stronger than explanation sometimes walking away is better than winning an argument, that small shift alone saved me from unnecessary stress and drama.
One of the changes for me was learning to respond instead of react, there was a time i used to take things too personally and then feel like i had to defend myself right away, then i figured out that not everything is worth my time and energy, sometimes it is just better to be quiet instead of trying to explain somethings , you know sometimes iit is better to just walk away from a fight instead of trying to win it , so the change in how I handle things has really helped me avoid a lot of stress and alot of drama.
Another change was becoming more comfortable being alone, as a man, there is this pressure to always be outside , to always be up and about , to be always surrounded by people, but i started e.mbracing my quiet time, it was more time to think, alot of time to reset and time to just sit without any form of distraction, at first, it felt weird, but now, it feels necessary, being alone helped me understand myself better and made me less dependent on external validation...
Beiing alone also helped me to not care much about what other people think of me, i do not need people to tell me I am doing a good job.
I also got into the habit of doing things rather than waiting for motivation to kick in , i used to wait until I felt like it, that did not work out very well for me, now i just do things over and again even when the motivation for doing the things is not really there and that is what consistency is all about doing things consistently, discipline may not look exciting, but it builds confidence quietly, every small promise you keep to yourself adds up. and I have to say consistency is really important to me, i try to be consistent with the things tjat I do.
I also became more careful about who i share my plans with, and seriously this i not out of fear like our african people do say, but out of wisdom , i realized that it is not every goal i want to achieve that needs an audience , when nn i know moving quietly has its own power, you focus better, you stress less, you avoid unnecessary opinions.
Yeah, none of these changes were dramatic, there was not a specific day I woke up completely different , it happened gradually , but when I look back , I can see the impact clearly, I am calmer, also more focused, less reactive, and more grounded..
As men, we do not always talk about growth in terms, .sometimes growth is just becoming steadier, controlled and more intentional for the men, for me it was not one life event that shaped me, the growth for me was the decisions that I repeated took every day, these small decisions were what made me the person I am today.
And honestly, those little changes made the biggest difference.
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