Communication is Important

Communication is a skill that not everybody has, and those who have it may not have it an effective level!

I am certainly not the best on the communication department. I try to avoid conflict which is a good and a bad thing. There are a lot of underlying reasons for that, and some date back a long time. I remember some specific events that were conflict oriented that I don't necessarily want to discuss here on the chain, but I can see where my avoidance of conflict certainly stems from that type of stuff.

Because that stuff is deep rooted in my psyche, I know that I have challenges in that realm. The beauty of that, and knowing it is an issue, is that I can then in turn work on making sure that my son doesn't have the same issue as I do, as much as I can. There are certainly limits to that and extenuating circumstances that will arise, but for the most part we should be able to manage that type of stuff as much as we can as a parent.

The other day that was really evident that he is doing a lot better than me in the communication department. He was getting ready for bed and had already laid down for the night but I heard a little wimpering so I went to check on him. The poor kiddo was crying and it was difficult to see as a parent to watch your kid cry when it's something bothering them. They aren't sick, but they have a conflict going on so we have to try and get that sorted out.

The important thing that I saw in him was that originally he was hesitant to talk about what was bothering him, but eventually after a minute or two of me talking with him, holding him as parents do to their kids, he felt comfortable letting me know what was bothering him. This was a really important thing, as I know that some things I have that bother me end up getting bottled up and put away which is not a good thing on so many levels.

With the kiddo, I've been teaching him for as long as I can remember that it is really important to be able to talk with your mom and dad about things that are bothering you. We don't need to know every detail of your life, although we certainly won't object to them when you are young, but when you get older you have to have some borders. When it comes to things that are really upsetting you though, it's important to have people to talk to in which you can get that worked out.

When we were able to sit there and he told me his concern, we were able to talk about why it was bothering him, what we think the potential solutions to the problem would be and how we could get those plans put in place so that we could get past the issue. It took a few minutes to work through it but ultimately he calmed down and went to sleep a much happier kid than he tried to sleep as.

That's one of the most important parts about communication: it helps us get through things so that we can better manage others! I know I need to take my own advice here for it and don't to a certain extent, but I have annoying things ingrained into me that at the moment my son doesn't. This means that he is able to be better than I am, which is in my opinion the most important part of being a parent. It's really sad that more parents don't have this mindset, but there are so many other things on that topic to say that it's just not in scope for this one here.

What about you, do you have good communication channels with your kids like this? Has it helped them get through things? Let me know in the comments!