These past days of my life hit me so hard that everything felt like a big deal. Most times I just sit and look at everything I've been trying to build, my goals, my plans, my dreams and I felt like nothing is moving. It honestly looked like there was no progress, no reward… I honestly stopped putting effort, which is one of the reasons I stayed out of the space for this long.
Everywhere was just silent, ‘cos I felt like it was not worth it any longer.
You might be wondering what actually happened right?? That's a story for another day.
I felt and somehow still feel stuck.
I've had days like this in the past too, but somehow this felt sooo different, I'd always sit down, stare at the ceiling, and think, “ maybe this whole putting effort thing and not giving up ain't for me”. Honestly giving up at that point looked like a sensible option.
But as always I'll learn from every life experience be it good or bad… This whole thing made me understand that these feelings I had didn't mean I am/was weak, I was simply tired, tired of trying, tired of putting effort and it didn't make me quit, though I thought of that, at that point I just needed to breathe, pause and reset. It happens.
We often think that giving up happens with those dramatic tears that'd almost fill a bucket and big breakdowns too. Noo… it always starts slowly, you missing one step, postponing publishing posts just like I did, staying away from those things that really matter, self doubt and the least you can think of. You notice that you start talking yourself out of something you once believed in. It happens as I said.
Life really has a funny way of testing us just when we think we have it all figured out, one minute you're up and motivated; the next minute it feels like it's all falling apart. When all these were happening, I just thought, maybe I was close to a shift or a new version of me but lacked that determination.
THE HARDEST BATTLES MOST TIMES COMES RIGHT BEFORE THE TRANSFORMATION… maybe this is my case
And the craziest part is that we often do not feel or know how close we are, we don’t see the progress forming behind the scenes. The slow internal growth, the discipline and resilience that's building right inside us.
I know this now, I didn't see all of it when I was going through this path.
So now I know that whenever that “give up” feeling comes, I remind myself of these things;
I’ve survived worse.
If I made it through these past disappointments, setbacks, and heartbreaks, then the coming moments won’t break me either.
I’m allowed to rest, pause and reset without quitting.
Resting is not a weakness.
Pausing doesn’t cancel the journey. Sometimes the break is part of the process.
My dreams still matter.
Even on the days I doubted myself, the dreams didn't disappear. They still pulled at me, reminding me why I started, this was one important thing that made me rethink…. A lot is actually at stake.
If you’re reading this and you’re also at that point where everything feels heavy, please know this, you’re not alone. We’re many in this silent battle, trying to push through life one shaky step at a time.
Before you close the chapter or walk away from what you once prayed for, ask yourself: “What if it finally works out?, is giving up an option?”
That tiny question has saved me many times.
Giving up may feel like relief in the moment, but trust me holding on, just a little longer, even with how tired you're, just a little step you take can lead to that which your heart has ever wanted.
I'll keep going, not because it's easy, but because my journey is not finished yet.
My mom would always say, when there's life, there's hope.
This is my story, and I know it too well….
SHALOM
