This have been amazing 4 weeks. In the last 3 days, I've gotten a lot further with my mom's move, bringing some key furniture over to her new place. So, now I'm feeling a lot better about that, too.
It's snowing again, and tomorrow we'll have breakfast together before we head off to Hamburg - the flight is at 6am, so Lily and I have to be at the airport at 4am. That's going to be fun considering the weather. Yey.
We had a few great talks in the last days. Living so far away from my family is not easy, but also gives them and me the advantage to having an inside-man on the outside, meaning that I'm part of everything, but my perspective is totally different. I'm not touched by the day-to-day, the slow abrasions of miscommunications that aren't solved in time. Plus, I evolved in a very different setting in the last years. Overall, we had much to discuss. And that was great.
One of the key things that I noticed was how easy it was to live with my mom for a month. That wasn't as easy before. For one, she relaxed a lot, and for second, I don't mind doing all the extra things that she demanded of us when we were kids. Because I only have a month with her, and I want her to be happy in that month and spend as much time with her granddaughter, and not be cleaning after me.
Yes, it's cleaning. I'm not a nasty fellow, I usually tidy and clean enough. My mom was extreme before. We have very hard water here, meaning that drops leave white stains when drying. So we always had to dry the kitchen sink and the shower and so on. And mom could get incredibly angry about that. She ones woke us up after coming home late from work to dry the sink.
It's not the worst idea, honestly, her sink is in pristine condition - after 30 years of living here. That's quite the accomplishment. I'm a big fan of taking care of the existing, maintaining and taking good care of what I have - both physically and metaphysically - in order to reduce churn. With objects, it's kind of easy to buy new, but I rather spend the money on something better. With people, both work and private relationships, it's a lot easier to maintain an existing one than having to build a new one.
Anyway, I spent quite a bit of time drying sinks and showers. The great thing is that she noticed right away (I guess she's gotten used to doing it after my brother or father come to visit), and was indeed very happy about it. So I tried even harder. Little things that make her life easier. Having to say goodbye what was her beloved home after 30 years is hard enough.
I cleaned up right after cooking, kept everything dry, swept, closed the doors so the heat wouldn't escape, did the power breeze with the windows. I was a very good guest and son. Fun fact - Lily as a lot more lee way than I ever had. There are some limits, but she does have less limits than I. And I have less limits then my brother and father. Again, probably because I'm not here all the time. Or because I do comply very nicely.
It's worth it. Seeing my mom happy with Lily? Priceless. Also, it's not like mom isn't doing anything. I'm just cleaning up and drying after myself and sometimes Lily, but mom still does most.
So, one of the greatest months of my life is coming to an end. Not only because seeing Lily so impossibly happy lights up every father's heart. Not only because spending this time with my family is fulfilling. But also because I was able to let so many lessons of the last year sink in. Reflect on them. Contemplate them.
It was good closure.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI, as well as read your own experience and point of view, I love to learn!
